Positive self talk is essential for success and happiness. Through our self talk we label what is around us. Labels are the basic words and ways people evaluate or judge experiences. We give ourselves and things labels all the time. Good, bad, ugly, exciting, failure, success, smart, dumb, poor, rich, beautiful, intelligent, weak, strong, selfish, cheap, giving, lost, stable, pathetic, horrible, amazing.
These are all labels we put on ourselves and others. The labels you use consistently shape the way you see yourself and the world. You need to be incredibly careful of the labels you use because you learn to live towards such labels. They become self-fulfilling prophecies.
The labels we use become our triggers. If you are always calling yourself or someone you have a strong influence over stupid, then you or they will start to believe it. Even if you say you don’t really mean it, words are powerful and we will unconsciously act in a way that is congruent with its meaning. It might be a subtle drop of the head, a change in breath, but it will have an effect.
Then your unconscious mind, will access old memories of when you felt stupid and then interpret this event like the ones before it. What makes people happy is often related to the selection of words they consistently use. This is because whatever you look for, you will find.
What if you used the word smart, would that have an effect? Absolutely, it will affect you in proportion to how much you believe it. You believe it a little, your body will change a little and you will feel a little better. If you believe it a lot, then you will have bigger effects. What if you’re stuck in a particular mood and you really don’t believe you are very smart at that point in time? Well, there are much better options then believing you are stupid.
It may be that you are a ‘learner’, or a ‘novice’ or ‘human’, or you may challenge with a phrase like ‘a step closer to success’, or even a sentence like ‘just because I make mistakes some of the time, it does not mean that I am completely stupid’. You see our labels often distort and influence too much of our reality. Stupid is a generalizing word, you look through it as if it applies to everything. But no-one could possibly be stupid or bad or a failure at everything that they do all of the time. Developing a positive vocabulary is what makes people happy.
Your labels need to be kind. What makes people happy are empowering labels that are still realistic. Beating yourself or other people down just sets everyone back several steps. They must be kind because your labels become part of your identity. Be very careful of the labels you accept, the labels you reject and your definition behind the labels you use.
To your Success and Fulfilling Happiness,
Aleks Srbinoski
